Jump to content


Any body have a Good Joke?


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#11 keifer11

keifer11

    Beginner

  • Regular Trooper
  • 29 posts

Posted 06 March 2007 - 03:42 PM

HOTEL SOAP...If You travel at all you will find this FUNNY!!!

                                      (The following hilarious letters are taken from an actual incident between
                                                 a London hotel and one of its guests. The hotel ended up
                                                     submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times.)

                                                                 READ this! I laughed my butt off!
    
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-size Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
    
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which is my instructions from the management, to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy
Relief Maid
    
Dear Maid (I hope you are my regular maid),
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.
S. Berman
    
Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dotty
    
Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank you,
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
    
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6:00 PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman
    
Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, case call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank you,
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
    
Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
    
Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager
    
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the heck left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one **** bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath-size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
S. Berman
    
Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them moved. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
    
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:

On the shelf under medicine cabinet:
- 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
On the Kleenex dispenser:
- 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.

On the bedroom dresser:
- 3 Cashmere Bouquet in 1 stack
- 4 hotel-size Ivory in 1 stack
- 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.

Inside the medicine cabinet:
- 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.

In the shower soap dish:
- 6 Camay, very moist.

On the northeast corner of tub:
- 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.

On the northwest corner of tub:
- 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item - I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
S. Berman
Posted Image

#12 ackack27

ackack27

    Grave Robber

  • Regular Trooper
  • Pip
  • 88 posts

Posted 06 March 2007 - 04:42 PM

View Postkeifer11, on Mar 6 2007, 04:42 PM, said:

HOTEL SOAP...If You travel at all you will find this FUNNY!!!

                                      (The following hilarious letters are taken from an actual incident between
                                                 a London hotel and one of its guests. The hotel ended up
                                                     submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times.)


Um....no, it didn't actually happen.

http://www.snopes.co...etters/soap.asp


Still funny, though.  :)

#13 22639

22639

    Beginner

  • New Trooper
  • 14 posts

Posted 10 November 2011 - 08:09 AM

Ablond decides to try horseback riding even though she has had nolessons or prior experience.  She mounts the horse, unassisted, andthe horse immediately springs into motion.

Itgallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blond begins toslip from the saddle. In terror she grabs for the horse's mane butcannot seem to get a firm grip.  She tries to throw her arms aroundthe horse's neck but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finallyshe tries to leap away from the horse to try and throw herself tosafety.  Unfortunately her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head isstruck against the ground over and over.  She is moments away fromunconsciousness when to her great fortune......

TheWalMart manager sees her and pulls the plug on the horsey ride.






#14 justinjkcatlover

justinjkcatlover

    Beginner

  • New Trooper
  • 19 posts

Posted 17 January 2012 - 08:21 AM

A day at the Pet's doctor

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet...
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman...The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
Posted Image

#15 kmbessem12

kmbessem12

    Beginner

  • New Trooper
  • 19 posts

Posted 17 January 2012 - 05:06 PM

haha:]  these jokes did make me smile




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users