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Is being gay a choice?


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Poll: Is being gay a choice? (111 member(s) have cast votes)

Is being gay a learned behaviour, or a natural occurance?

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#1 Bladesfan

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Posted 13 April 2009 - 10:27 PM

Thought this would be a very fun debate, I had a best friend all the way through high school I never knew was gay, he'd never told anyone, he even had girlfriends! Then suddenly last year he 'came out' and told me; and at the time I really expected it to change the way I viewed him, like I almost expected myself to be scared of him in case he came onto me or something, but it just didn't.
Since then I've moved and only really see him occasionally when I'm back visiting old friends, though I'd loved to have been able to ask him kinda, what made him gay. Was he secretly always masking his true feelings or did something turn him to liking men? Can this be done?

Basically, my question to you is, "Is being gay a learned behaviour, or a natural occurance?" Is it a choice that people make, or feelings they cannot control?
Please be respectful with your answers, any blatant abuse towards homosexuality will be reported as it's really not what I hoped to create through this debate.

Thought I'd give you three quotes as starting points:

Lesbianism has always seemed to me an extremely inventive response to a shortage of men, but otherwise not worth the trouble.  ~Nora Ephron, Heartburn, 1983

You know what they say:  You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.  ~Trey Parker & Matt Stone, South Park

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work:  "Hello.  Can't work today, still queer."  ~Robin Tyler
:lol:

Edited by Bladesfan, 13 April 2009 - 10:56 PM.

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#2 Mistybabe

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Posted 14 April 2009 - 10:36 AM

Personally, I believe it's a choice. For me it comes down to my God, my beliefs. I believe homosexuality is the work of the "evil" side lol.

That being said, I don't judge nor do I discriminate. I have friends and family members who are gay..and some who are gay sometimes, straight sometimes.. and claim their not bi-sexual (go figure).

That's just my opinion, and it has no influence on how I view an individual as a person.
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#3 sarahricks

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Posted 14 April 2009 - 01:06 PM

I personally think it's chosen, however I dated a guy in high school fr 3 years and then he went on a missions for 2 years when he came back he told me he was gay and had been his entire life. His sister is a lesbian and says she's felt that her whole life as well.
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#4 Nate

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Posted 14 April 2009 - 01:20 PM

I think it's mainly a natural thing but people can also choose to be gay. I do think that things can also contribute to it, such as an unapproving father or a non existant father.  My dad's cousin is gay and he's always said he's been gay his whole life and never really had a choice.  But no matter the reason, gay people are still the same as straight people and should have the same rights we do.  Just my personal opinion.
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#5 jackpotmoney

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Posted 15 April 2009 - 02:08 PM

I think its a natural occurrence with the chromosomes malfunction.

Males = XY
Females = XX

Which probably means that guys probably have either a messed up chromosomes such as XYX or something like that and females have XXY.

I think that's how it happens.

I think you just feel like you like the same sex rather than the opposite.

If people all liked the same sex in the world, then it would probably be not normal if you like the opposite sex. So I am guessing it is a natural occurence.

#6 sarahricks

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Posted 15 April 2009 - 05:05 PM

View Postjackpotmoney, on Apr 15 2009, 02:08 PM, said:

I think its a natural occurrence with the chromosomes malfunction.

Males = XY
Females = XX

Which probably means that guys probably have either a messed up chromosomes such as XYX or something like that and females have XXY.

I think that's how it happens.

I think you just feel like you like the same sex rather than the opposite.

If people all liked the same sex in the world, then it would probably be not normal if you like the opposite sex. So I am guessing it is a natural occurence.

Having an XXY chromosone makes a person a hermafrodite (hope I spelled that right) So if it is in your genetic making like that it would mean all gays are hermafrodites which I'm pretty sure isn't true.
I think if it was a genetic make up they would have been able to find what chromosone it is assosiated with by now.
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#7 Laura

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Posted 15 April 2009 - 07:04 PM

I edited the topic title. It formerly said, "Can being gay be helped?" or something similar. To me, this insinuates that it is a negative thing, a problem, which means that there's judgment. Whether being gay is a problem for people is a whole separate argument than whether it is a choice.

I'm not contributing to this discussion because it's a topic that I get worked up over, and I know myself enough to know it's better for my stress level to not get involved ;).
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#8 queenofthafam

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Posted 15 April 2009 - 07:55 PM

I personally think of being gay as a choice..more so a preference..kind of how some people may prefer blondes over brunettes..short over tall..older vs younger etc..
But because of the stigma attached to it in society they choose also not to disclose their "preference" at as early an age as they may discover it..
I also dont discriminate based on what one does in the privacy of their own bedroom..its really not anyone elses business i think..
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#9 Bladesfan

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Posted 16 April 2009 - 06:07 AM

View PostLaura, on Apr 16 2009, 02:04 AM, said:

I edited the topic title. It formerly said, "Can being gay be helped?" or something similar. To me, this insinuates that it is a negative thing, a problem, which means that there's judgment. Whether being gay is a problem for people is a whole separate argument than whether it is a choice.

I'm not contributing to this discussion because it's a topic that I get worked up over, and I know myself enough to know it's better for my stress level to not get involved ;).

Thanks Laura, I wasn't trying to offend or discriminate at all, cheers for clearing that up :)
Very interesting PsOV so far btw :)

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#10 willjaysmom

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Posted 16 April 2009 - 07:34 AM

I have twin cousins who are gay and one of them has struggled with himself for a long time because he is gay. He hates himself for being gay and has been seeing a psychiatrist for quite a while because of it. He has said that he wishes he could like girls because he wants to, but he just doesn't. So I highly doubt that he chose to feel this way.

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